i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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