I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
