absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
