she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
