I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
you never un-have a 4some
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
