so that wasnt chicken after all
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
