The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize
