New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
