using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
