Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
