wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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