How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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