how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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