Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
