is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
