he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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