VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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