Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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