So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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