im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Randomize
