Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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