i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
