don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
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