Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
