Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
