We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
