everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You pole danced in your parka.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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