Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
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Is my lip ring still in your hair?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
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When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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