Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
