somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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