how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
