Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
