Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
