The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
