So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
it's great music for shaving your balls
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
