ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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