What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
