How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
