You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
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happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
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The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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