It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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