Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
