What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
