Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
