Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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