Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
