She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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