dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
