Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
