So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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