he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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