you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
