Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
