instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
