i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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