when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
