All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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