He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
