Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
