Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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