Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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