I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
