i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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