After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
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So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
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She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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