just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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