I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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