I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
