dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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