its not stalking. its research.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
we're so committed to being not committed
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
