if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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