Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
